Does it help if I say that I'm sorry?
I know the burning in my blood has made you worry a lot
Like the medicine they gave me that hurt me.
If you leave when I'm sleeping could you turn the lights off?
My eyes ache if I wake up bathing in fluorescence.
It's hard to shake the phosphenes and iridescence.
When intravenous makes me feel heavy.
As frail as glass, I'm fading fast, I think that I'm ready to leave.
So give me one good reason to believe I'm getting better,
My weight keeps fluctuating and I struggle to remember,
The last time I slept through a night without needing to shed my blood
I'm so sick of feeling alone.
But I can't stop thinking about
Every time that you'd leave me alone in the house.
And I'd lay in my bed, suffocating with doubt
Over whether I'd manage to function without.
Having you there to make sure I take what they gave me
To kill off the pain that I'm going through daily.
In every way that I am strong, I am also weak.
For all the words my lungs have birthed
I struggle to speak,
To you about anything
That makes me feel like a burden.
Does it hurt you if I say I can feel the decay?
In a hospital bed I wither away.
Behind the curtains I've been crying almost every night,
I don't want to ache like this for the rest of my life.
So give me one good reason to believe I'm getting better,
My weight keeps fluctuating and I struggle to remember
The last time I slept through a night without needing to shed my blood
I'm so sick of feeling alone.