Dead Jesus - Amends

I've seen blue beaches, holy crosses and shrines
And the
Hollywood sign as is lit up the night.
But paradise fades with the inching of time
When the better half of me can't make up its mind.
Red wine 'till dawn as we slept through the day.
I could feel the poison set as it coursed through my veins.
The harder I'm pushed, the harder I fall.
The actions of one, left blame with them all.
Gradually walk down the charter steps.
Cold and miserable here feels like I left
A piece of my aorta back in the utopia I just left a few hours ago.
My mind froze like I am forgetting something.
It does not matter as I am strangely at peace,
For I have made amends.
I made up with my lovely, beautiful, bitchy, caring, fucking wife
Back to the norm releasing memories
Of the last two weeks of enjoyment
Being away from this shithole.
Love me.
Lying at home mind racing through zones of love and hate.
Knock on the door interrupting my realizations of my mental desires.
Sister ragging on me typical female it never stops.
Never ends blah blah it's time to make some more amends.
It's getting lonely in here. This empty room.
I need some comfort.
I've got to get out.
On the town dinner and dancing the night away.
We had the best time of our lives, she disappeared.
What really happened?
I guess we made amends.
Flashes of violence, the horrible dreams I can tell that something is not right.
I go to my doctor but she can't help me, Insisting the need to come clean.
I feel so fucked up, but I can't tell her.
In the hospital strait jacket and all, fuck this shit.
I am more normal that these freaks my mental health is just dandy.
Leave me alone.
Enough of the needles, enough of the blue pills,
Enough of the endless staring between us.
Enough of the screams and enough of these walls.
One careless moment - I'm gone.
I gave my doctor her certificate of amendication.
I'm free again.
Maybe one day I'll find true love and contempt of my mind.
So our hearts can be together as one.
And I'll get one more chance
To show my love will last forever.
Things are going to be normal for a while.