Not long ago I went through the gate of dreams
I came to the famous City of Destruction
Where now a shuttle runs to the Emerald City
With air miles and big group reductions
So I went to the ticket office where Evangelist sat
And reserved seats through credit card calls
I said ' How does it feel now they changed your job?He said 'Now I don't feel anything at all
As we moved off I looked down on the Myre of Despair
From a bridge that passed a thousand miles above
Its legs were made of books that they'd thrown into the mud
And the books were of philosophy and love
As we reached the Hill of Difficulty, we waited for a climb
They'd dug a tunnel through the center of the stone
And with the excess rock, well the valley became landfill
Where once you'd had to walk down there alone
All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble
All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
For all those who seek the truth but don't have the time to get there
Don't have the time to get there
The train ride felt so smooth that I put my feet up
Barely noticing the motion of the carriage
The stewardess was Prudence with her sister Charity
For fifteen grand they'd sell their hands in marriage
And just as we were entering the Valley of Death