Sweeney Todd - The Contest

Adolfo Pirelli: I am Adolfo Pirelli
Da king of da barbers
Da barber of kings
E buon giorno, good day
I blow you a kiss!

And I, da so famous Pirelli
I wish-a to know-a
Who has-a the nerve-a to say
My elixir is piss!
Who says this?!

Sweeney Todd: 'I do. [...] I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street. I have opened
a bottle of Pirelli's elixer and I say to you that it is nothing but an
errant fraud, concocted from piss and ink. Furthermore -'Signor'-
I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a cheek
with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank!'

Adolfo Pirelli: 'You hear zis foolish man? Now, please, you will see how
he will regret his folly!
Sweeney Todd: 'Who's for a free shave?
[The Crowd cheers: ME, ME, ME!]

Sweeney Todd: 'Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?
Beadle Bamford: 'Glad, as always to oblige my friends and neighbours.
...The fastest, smoothest shave, is the winner.
[Music begins]

Adolfo Pirelli: Now signorini, signori
We mix-a da lather
But first-a you gather around
Signorini, signori
You looking a man
Who had-a da glory
To shave-a da Pope!
Mr. Sweeney whoever--
I beg-a you pardon You'll probably say it was only a cardinal--
Nope!
It was-a da pope!

To shave-a da face
To cut-a da hair
Require da grace
Require da flair
For if-a you slip
You nick da skin
You clip-a da chin
You rip-a da lip a bit beyond-a repair!

To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart!
Not just-a da flash
It take-a panache
It take-a da passion for da art

To shave-a da face
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God!

It take-a da skill
It take-a da brains
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a da graaaace!

Beadle Bamford: 'The winner -- is Todd!'